The 'Höstra, I...' Diary Pages

[Aimay]

The 'Höstra, I...' Diary Pages

I started free writing the other night and I found myself writing a series of diary pages I've come to call the 'Höstra, I...' diary pages.

It started as a short letter From Alicia to Höstra from when she was a child and slowly evolved into a fairly depressing bit of writing in which I accidently killed Alicia.

But I took my idea of the diary pages and turned it into what I'm going to write and post here. I might not post regularly but I'll post as many of the pages as I can.

So here we go.

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The first page found was in the possession of a girl who wore an extremely familiar hat.

Höstra, do you remember the day I lost my hat over the edge of Auster? And how I told the village that the wind had carried it from atop my head?

You knew I was lying that day, yet you told no one and never asked me for the truth. That was the moment I knew you were my friend.

I want to tell you how I lost my hat that day, the day without a breeze.

As was the norm of that age I went out to play, there were no children our age so I played by myself. I liked to escape from the eyes of the adults and peer over the edge of the island. I would lay on my belly and inch my way to the edge so I could peer over the borders of our world.

That day was different from most, that day, I saw someone peering back.

They stood on a hill, staring into the sky as I stared back. I think it was a girl like me, my age and she didn't have a hat.

This alien girl and I never broke eye contact, we were staring so long my eyes hurt.

As the sun rose to it's peak, the alien girl had trouble looking skyward. I didn't want her to leave as I expected she would, so I took my hat from my head and I let it drop over the edge.

I don't know why I thought my hat would reach the girl, the smallest gust of wind would have blown it off course, but by the Spirits, no wind blew that day and my hat fell straight and true.

I saw the girl pick my hat from the hill and place it atop her own head. She stared up at me a little longer after that, this alien girl from a strange land, shading her eyes from the sun with my hat.

And then I lost sight of her , a cloud blocked her from me and I almost wept.

That was when Mrs. Nimit found me, she brought me back into the village and the first question I was asked concerned my lack of headgear.

I knew they wouldn't believe my tales of the girl, adults are more likely to swallow an easy lie that a hard truth from a child. So I lied.

I saw you through the crowd and I could tell you knew.

I never did thank you for not prying, that was kind of you.

I like to remember that version of you, the kind and happy you.

I found that girl you know, since you threw me from the island. I found the girl who wore my hat and stared into the blue sky.

Found the hat too.

I just wish I could find the you I saw that day. I want you to come back to me, I want my friend back.

Please...

...Höstra.

The second diary page was found inside a crystal jar of two hues, one side hot, the other cool.

Höstra, I met a girl who grows crystals today. Crystals! She grows them in the desert, apparently the crystals absorb the heat of the desert and grow larger because of it.

The thing is she has a twin brother who grows crystals too. But the brother grows his crystals in a large river. He says his crystals absorb the breath of the river and grow from that.

The twins are always arguing about who's crystals grow stronger and contain more magic.

But when on of the twins was in trouble the other sprang to help them.

They may compete and they may fight a lot, but they will always love each other very much and they remind me of the two of us when we were younger.

When we'd stay stay up all night and spin tales of our legends to come.

I remember one conversation, we had been reading about the great wizard duels and I had asked you if we would ever fight like that. You spun such a tale of the like I'd never heard nor read. You spoke so fiercely of the battles we would fight and the powers we would wield, that I didn't speak a word all night.

You told me that after these battles we would find each other and we would stay up all night, like we were, and we would teach each other the magic we had learned and regale each other with tales of our adventures.

You never told me that the battles we would fight would be against each other.

I don't like to think that the powers I have discovered are going to be used to fight you.

It's not fair at all, I curse the spirits for the fate they have bestowed upon us and I curse Elthëlian most of all.

I digress... The twins.

Between the two of us, the crystals that the twins grow are different from each other but neither is stronger or the most powerful.

They have their own strengths and their own weaknesses, but when they're together, like when the twins are together, they are stronger still and have no weakness.

I hope you will come back to me one day. And then we can be stronger together.

When that day comes we can stay up all night as we used to and this time I will talk all night of my adventures in this strange land.

I await that night, my Höstra.

The third page was found held under a small rock at the entrance to a mine, small luminescent blue fingerprints cover the page.

Höstra, I've heard tales of an underground lake named Endélion, and it reminded me of home.

You must think me mad, how is a beneath ground lake similar to our birthplace above the clouds?

It's the flora I draw the similarity from.

I hear that in this cavern there are certain kinds of flora that glow in the dark. Even deep beneath the earth flowers still thrive, flowers also grew up in the sky on Auster.

I could never figure out how the flora flourished like they did in the sky, the answer came to me when I heard the tale of Endélion.

Just like the underground lake is fed by the waters that seep through the ground, the flowers on Auster are fed by waters that travel skywards.

Figured it out yet?

It's the clouds! Just think, the thing that kept us away from the lands below, also sustained our plants, the ones that kept us well fed.

Nostalgia seems to be effecting me most when I'm writing these letters to you.

Maybe because most of my fondest memories include you.

So, back to the start of this tale.

The flowers I heard about reminded me of a memory I thought I had forgotten.

It was the day you disappeared for several long hours, I looked for you everywhere that day. I even considered that you might have fallen from Auster. I was so worried.

And then you came back to me, smiling so wide, with a bright blue flower in your hands.

You told me that you had gone far into the forest after hearing Maugin talk about a secret cove in the centre, that was full of these flowers.

You went there to find that flower and bring it back for me.

You did tell me the name of the flower, you told me it's properties and uses in both medicinal and magical remedies.

I forgot it all.

What sticks out most in my memory was your face. You had several scratches from brambles and low hanging branches you had walked through to bring me that flower.

You didn't stop smiling that day and you were radiating with pride.

I'll never forget that face and I will never forget the colour of that flower.

Hopefully, one day soon, I will be able to see that expression on your face again, except this time you will be proud of me, I will save you, I'll even bring you back a flower from that underground lake that shares so many similarities with our home.

I will make you proud of me, Höstra.

The fourth page was found inside an abandoned cabin on the edge of a destroyed village.

Höstra, do you remember that day we found that tree that was hanging over the edge of Auster?

We used to dare each together to climb the tree and whoever could get the farthest out would be the bravest.

And then one day we came back to the tree and it was gone, I worried for weeks afterwards, what would have happened if one of us was in that tree when it fell? We could have fallen from Auster and been lost forever.

I came across the ruins of a village yesterday, the entire village was covered in rocks and boulders. At the top of the pile of debris was a large tree.

I asked a man, who lived on the edge of the village in an old shack, what had happened to the village, he told me that many years ago a landslide covered the village in the middle of the night and the tree I had seen fell with it.

The village was beneath Auster, I fear when we were playing in that tree we weakened it's roots enough for it to fall.

I now know how far our actions can travel, one tree can destroy an entire village.

Even if we didn't mean to do this that time when we played in the branches of that tree, we must take responsibility for the repercussions of our actions.

We may not have known what we had done at the time, but now I have found this village I must accept the consequences that our actions are deserved of.

The man who lives on the edge of this village told me his story.

He lived in the village before it was destroyed along with his family.

He was visiting a friend from a village across the Valley when the landslide took his family from him forever. He didn't know what had happened for several months after.

I apologised that night for what we had done, this man held me as I sobbed throughout the night, I fell asleep as I cried in his arms.

When I awoke the man was packing to travel. He told me that he forgave me for I didn't know what I was doing. He even gave me a gift and told me not to open it until he left.

I apologised again, he just smiled and told me the only reason he had stayed was to wait for a reason to move on with his life. He told me it was time for him to leave as he had forgiven the one he was waiting for and if I ever needed his aid I am to ask for him in Blivek.

Once he had left I opened the present he gave me, inside was a child's necklace with a ring along the string. I cried as I read the note that came with the necklace.

Afterwards I left the village behind and continued on my way.

I'll never forget that all of our actions have repercussions and we should always take responsibility for them.

Please, if you find this, think about your actions, Höstra.

The fifth page was in the possession of a little girl who never took off the gloves she wore.

Höstra, I've been learning the names of places from a lot of different types of people and it seems that depending on the person asked, a place can be named something else.

Our island of Auster is also named Verilion and also Ilmaril and a desert I passed through named Aúrin is also Ilthelas which is named the place of bones.

It makes me wonder how our perception of things can change over time and through multiple retellings can come to mean something completely different.

All because the tale or the name is mispronounced.

Since you threw me from Auster I have discovered new meanings for many things I once thought I knew everything about.

New names for things can change how you perceive those things drastically and even dangerously.

Do you remember the tevertrees from the forest? Do you remember that time Maugin accidentally touched it and was poisoned?

He knew the name of the plant and we were able to make him better because we had that knowledge.

I met a young family who lived below Auster and the families only daughter kept getting ill whenever she left their cottage.

They couldn't figure out why she kept getting ill so they asked me to bring them some medicine from a far off village to hopefully heal their daughter.

It took me a while to bring them the medicine but I was able to bring it to them in time. The daughter got better and was able to play outside again.

Whilst I was talking with the parents we heard a shout, the child had collapsed just outside the cottage.

I looked around where the child had been playing, after we took her back inside, and I found a small sprig of tevertree.

Apparently the wife had bought some seeds from another gardener who told her that the seeds were a plant called Tuffty, a harmless bush.

The wife had always worn gloves when gardening but whenever the child went to play in the garden she would play in the flowers and plants.

I knew what the plant was called and that allowed me to know not to touch it, but because this family didn't, it was almost deadly.

Names seem to hold a lot of power in this world and knowledge is possibly the best weapon anyone can wield, not magic, not my lace, but knowledge.

I am going to be the most knowledgeable wizard ever and it will give me the power to save you, Höstra.

[Aimay]

The fourth page has been found along with this note:

'Dear child, please do not feel bad, you know not what your actions would cause, you are forgiven and I am free. I leave you with the two most precious items I own, my daughters necklace I made for her when she turned five and my blessed wife's ring. Keep these items close and may they comfort you as they have comforted me over the years, if you need me, ask for me in Blivek. Thank you.'